Saturday, April 5, 2008

Lost week

I have lost a week - no, not one of those I have been so busy that I don't know where the week has gone, but one of those weeks where life has put me on hold from life for a week.

On Monday evening, my heart decided to beat super fast, and all out of rhythm. I have atrial fibrillation - one of the non-lethal heart problems, where my heart has extra beats - more so when I do anything besides lie in bed completely still. I spent most of 2 days in emergency, and the 2 nights in National Capital Hospital seeing a cardiologist. So I am on medication to slow the heart beat down, and try and make it regular again. If this doesn't succeed, they are threatening to give me the electric chair - nooooo I mean those electrical paddles that you see on TV where they say "Clear" and then you jump off the bed involuntarily. I feel perfectly OK when I am lying down - feel a proper fraud. But if I need a reminder, all I have to do is stand up, nearly pass out, and then walk 10 steps to my desk, and feel like I have walked a couple of km or more.

The elders from church are coming over later this morning to pray for me. What do I expect - a miraculous healing? Not necessarily, although I would accept it.

However, I do expect a sense of calm and peace that comes from getting in touch with the Divine. I do expect the sense of community and care that happens when people in your life are prepared to take time to visit, and pray for you. And I do expect that I will gain an inner strength and peace to deal with the situation I am presently in.

Now, God is God, and we are not in the business of telling (non-gender specific personal pronoun) what to do. But I believe that the way he chooses (non-gender specific personal pronoun) intervene with us as humans is in a partnership manner. there are times that (non-gender specific personal pronoun) wants us to request intervention in our lives. This is one of those times for me. I am seeking intervention, and would like this disabling condition to be gone from my life.

It has been my experience that sometimes after requesting intervention, it happens in a manner that has no other explanation than divine activity. Other times the intervention happens through medical assistance, and at other times it happens through change of lifestyle and activity. Sometimes the intervention happens within my heart and mind - I view things differently, find acceptance for things I cannot change, gain determination to do what is necessary to help myself, and find comfort and strength in having people around me who care about what is happening in my life.

Any and all of the above are acceptable to me - as is something else I don't have a clue about at this time.

Well - we have visitors in 45 minutes - and I now have to go and get dressed out of my jamas. This is not an easy task at this time, and totally exhausts me. At the moment, my Darls is applying the suction from the vacuum cleaner to the floor of the lounge. Don't tell anyone that most of what he has to suck up is threads and left overs from my crafting!!!

See you all later


Taphophile said...

*sings* "and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak..".

I hope the visit brings you the peace you seek.

m1k1 said...

I hope that the combination of medication and prayer and comfort of friends has you up and about and snipping fabrics again real soon.

Casp said...

Oh janet that is terrible.

I feel even worse now that i never dropped off all those facewashers I had for you.

Unfortunately we are moving and hubby packed them into a box already, and it could be anywhere... I had some spare wool which is also packed...

I will let you know when we have moved and unpacking and see what you can use.

Be well.